


Consequences

by searein, tjstar



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexuality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, M/M, Peer Pressure, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-25 09:20:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17118641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/searein/pseuds/searein, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjstar/pseuds/tjstar
Summary: “Are you mad at me?”Josh still can’t read Tyler’s emotions. This ‘morning after’ is nothing resembling all the ‘mornings after’ they could have had together.Together, they’re losers.





	Consequences

“Honey, I’m not ready.”

This bed might turn to Josh’s coffin, these pillows might come down like a billow — and there’s the shame. What a shame, really, because _he’s not ready;_ but what about her, about this Kelly-Caitlyn-Carol, about her glittery top on the floor, about —

About her corset bra.

There are too many laces, tiny hooks, and she keeps wiggling, her hair hits Josh’s face like a natural — organic — whiplash. This is annoying, everything is; the bait doesn’t catch him, it’s not working — nothing is. Including Josh’s natural needs.

They’re just turned off.

He is turned off, it’s not right, he’s not ready, and she squeals because her hair gets stuck in the laces.

“Hurry up,” she purrs, she rolls her hips backwards to get onto Josh’s lap.

Josh pulls back, then farther and farther until the small of his back hits the headboard. She’s chirping something about furry handcuffs.

And hacking Pentagon’s server must be easier than opening Victoria’s Secret bra.

“Josh?”

There’s nothing about the tinfoil pack he’s seen in her purse.

“Well, Carrie...”

“Casey.”

Dang.

He should’ve known.

She’s about to slap him, and he stutters out —

“I have to go. I forgot, I’m s— _Casey_.”

He’s about to cover his face or other important body parts, but Casey doesn’t punch him. And Josh zips up his jeans, reaches for his shirt on the floor and rubs his neck — he’s probably gotten her lipstick all over his skin, but he’s not that proud.

He’s turning her down, because something hasn’t clicked.

It’s not his day, or not Casey’s, and this bed is too big and too cold as he slides down. The only thing he can think about at the moment is that the last time he saw his _best friend_  he was playing beer-pong with a few of his _not-friends_. He was drunk, and it’s not a thing that happens too often — never, actually. The image of it overlaps a half-naked girl in front of him; Josh doesn’t plan to be a bum, but he doesn’t want Tyler to get in troubles either.

“I have to meet Tyler.”

Josh’s excuses are always the worst.

Casey’s death glare might turn him to stone.

“You can fuck _him_ then.”

And Josh’s tongue works faster than his brain for the first time in his life.

“This is what I used to do, actually,” he wants to gnaw at his fist to shove the words back.

“What?”

Josh doesn’t know _what_.

This after-after party is just an after-drunken haze, and he has to find Tyler.

Just to warn him.

 

***

Josh doesn’t actually remember how he’s made it to Tyler’s room. He knocks on the shabby door and waits in the corridor, leaning on the concrete wall decorated with stains of unknown origin. But nothing happens, so he knocks again and then listens carefully. A noise on the other side proves him right — Tyler is there.

“Ty? Tyler,” Josh exhales.

Rustling gets louder. Then Josh hears shuffling.

“Who is this?”

“Josh.”

The silence makes Josh add —

“Um... Your best friend? Tyler, open the damn door, it’s odd.”

The lock clicks, and Tyler appears in a doorframe. He is fully clothed, black hood covers his face. There’s no lights in the room, even the rays of rising sun barely break the darkness through a tiny crack in blackout curtains.

“Are you alone?”

“Yeah, come in.”

Josh enters the room, he still needs to apologize. But it’s not gonna be easy; it seems that Tyler is drunk and ill at the same time. Hangover — Josh can assume, watching Tyler lay down on the bed.

“So,” Josh doesn’t know how to start. “I was with that girl, damn, I forgot her name again… Wait-wait… Oh, Casey! And I…”

“Hush!” Tyler groans, groping for something on a bedside table. “Please.”

He doesn’t find anything so he keeps searching on the floor.

“Okay.” Josh lowers his voice to a whisper. “It was strange from the very beginning: her bra was like a logic trap, I hate quests, you know, all of these laces, hooks and…”

Tyler finally finds a bottle, but it’s empty. He doesn’t even look at Josh as he fishes for another one on the floor, but there is nothing except a pair of grey socks and a charger. He turns a night light on, squinting and pulling his hood lower.

“Tyler?”

“Ty?”

“Are you listening?” Josh comes closer and takes Tyler’s hood off his head, drawing his attention.

Tyler doesn’t look interested, his hair is greasy and his head is full of pain as Josh can notice; he throws a useless bottle into the trashcan near the table.

“Need a pill first.”

Josh waits patiently, trying to find out the best way to enlighten him that tomorrow everyone in college will think that they’re having sex.

Meanwhile, Tyler finds a half empty bottle of water and throws a sizzling aspirin pill into it. He sits down onto the bed, looking at tiny bubbles, as if he’s begging them to save him from this disease.

Josh thinks he can continue.

“So you know I…”

“Stop doing it.”

Sometimes Tyler can be rude, but it is not unjustified.

“Stop doing _what_?”

“Making noise! Fuck. My head is about to explode.”

His headache is the reason now. Josh wearly plops down onto Tyler’s roommate’s bed and hooks his phone out of his pocket, deciding to wait for the drug action.

After almost ten minutes Tyler finally shows a sign of life.

“Hey,” he calls from the distance.

Tyler puts an empty bottle down and turns to Josh.

Josh sets his phone aside.

“Hey.”

“Sorry... Can you please start from the very beginning? It feels like I miss something,” Tyler scratches the back of his head right through his hood.

“I said that we fuck.”

“W-what?”

“Yeah I know. I know it’s weird, I don’t know how this happened, she was so…”

“Who?”

“Casey! Tyler, did you listen to me?”

Tyler points at Josh’s neck.

“These spots... Is this a skin rash?”

“It’s her lipstick, probably, oh... So sticky,” Josh uses the hem of his shirt to get rid of any visible reminders about this night.

“Okay. I bet you failed. Or she. If you are here. Did she vomit or something?”

“Damn, no!” Josh rubs his neck. “She just... I always feel like um... Sex isn’t so important? It’s like... Why does everybody pay so much attention on it? And then... I just couldn’t. Not because of her bra... I didn’t need her body, sex, even an orgasm,” he breathes out and makes a conclusion. “I’m an impotent.”

“And? Me too. It’s not a big deal,” Tyler deadpans.

Josh barely feels relieved —

“Impotent?”

Tyler tries to formulate his words, fumbling with the laces in his hood.

“I don’t like sex, and tits, and jerking off... I think people overestimate these things.”

“Yeah! But what if it’s something wrong with me? With us,” Josh corrects himself.

“Do you get morning erections?”

Josh nods.

“Then, I think you are healthy. They exist. I mean people who are not interested in sex.”

“Do you mean asexuality?”

“Yeah.”

“To be honest I thought about it from time to time, but how can I be sure?"

“Oh, well... At least you can continue torturing yourself, getting laid with strangers or live your own life.”

Josh feels guilty and dirty. He needs to sort out his own feelings.

“Okay. What do you feel when you get morning wood?”

“Um... Inconvenience? What’s the advantage of getting a hard-on if it’s so uncomfortable and your pants get too tight?”

Josh sighs, looking at the mirror. Messy hair, he can call it _sex hair,_ but there was no sex — only his awkward moves and the most terrible excuse. And the worst thing — he said that he fucks Tyler.

“Can we... Can we pretend like we are boyfriends in case Casey will spread the rumors?”

“I don’t know man... We’ll see. Anyway, I understand you. And we can talk more. When I get better. Deal?”

Surprisingly not only information about Tyler’s asexuality soothes Josh’s soul but his confidence. His strong position and healthy blindness to others’ opinion has always marveled Josh. He feels support although Tyler hasn’t even started helping him yet. He can be sure Tyler is on his side, he will go with him whatever it takes, and Josh can ask him for and about everything.

“It’s gonna be a tough day…”

Tyler lies on the bed again, wrapping himself in a thick blanket, and it seems like even talking is hard for him. Josh goes to the window and closes the curtains completely.

“So why did you get so drunk?”

“I had to drink more than _that dude_.”

“Um... did he know about this contest?”

“Nah,” Tyler responds, unperturbed.

 

***

There are consequences of Josh’s words, there’s the revenge maybe.

There are murmurs behind his back _‘it’s him, I’m telling you’._ Josh doesn’t know who’s speaking, he doesn’t want to know. He’s sure his current roommate avoids him, even though they’ve never talked that much. _‘Calm down,’_ Josh is about to cut him off. _‘You’re not my type.’_

Josh doesn’t have a _type_.

He never comments on what people are spewing around.

Until Monday.

Because college still feels so high school-like. Because there might be somebody who would shove him into the locker _again_.

_“Did you hear what Casey said…”_

Josh tugs his snapback down until it covers his eyes and rushes through the hall to find his _lover_ he doesn’t have to love. After dealing with Tyler and his outrageous hangover, Josh has realized the weight of his words.

Which means he came out.

Which means he _outed_ Tyler too.

_“I heard that Tyler managed to sneak into a girls’ bathroom and left a sticky note on a toilet, like ‘git ur own boyfren bitch’. He’s a freak.”_

_“Yeah, he could do that.”_

_‘Yeah, he could do that,’_ Josh approves mentally.

He’s not used to attention, but he has at least one friend who is openly gay since his freshman year; and Tim Skipper isn’t offended at being constantly watched by his peers. Tim is a good example.

_“Do you know Josh dumped her and ran to his fuck-buddy?”_

_“No, Tyler was the one to throw a tantrum.”_

_“Yes, he could do that.”_

He can do that, he can do this, he can pretend they don’t exist. Just like voices in his head. In general, Josh’s life hasn’t changed yet, but he can’t stand Tyler gloat when the focus of their inside jokes changes dramatically.

They still have to study, they attend a library to find more information about exposure compensation on still cameras. So, when Mark looks at the wall and says that it’s _gay-o’clock_ , Tim facepalms and rolls his eyes so hard Josh can hear them crack. If it’s even possible. Anatomy is not something he’s good at.

And Tim has recently broken up with his boyfriend.

“This joke’s older than your mom,” Tim huffs.

“Who said I’m talking about _you?”_

Mark is so sincerely fake-surprised; Josh wants to hide in the darkest corner while Tyler takes the hit with the same stone-like expression.

“So?”

This is why Josh could’ve probably fallen in love with him.

“You?..” Tim chokes on his words and his tea. “You two? Like, both of you, and, the rumors…”

Mark kicks him under the table.

“…are not rumors.”

“Bitch, I knew. You sneaky bastard, Joseph, I swear I could feel that _vibe_ — congratulations, man,” Tim is about to applause. He pats Tyler’s shoulder so hard he almost falls off the bench he’s sitting on.

“I’m not gay, you know,” Tyler says with a pained smile. “Josh is just _special_.”

And he steps onto Josh’s foot to make him speak.

“I am,” Josh turns the page of _The Art of Photography_ in front of him.

He waits for his words to eat him alive.

And they connect to a shitty Wi-Fi, and Josh’s private life isn’t that interesting anymore, but then Tim asks —

“Which base have you gotten to?”

Josh tries to save the day...

“Honestly, baseball isn’t our thing —”

...But Tyler doesn’t appreciate it.

“Can you refresh my memory and tell me how many bases exist?”

Tyler scribbles something in his notebook as if he’s not bewildered with the question just like Josh. Mark keeps fumbling with his low-budget Panasonic.

“Five.”

Tyler shrugs.

“We’ve gotten to fifth then.”

“Wow,” Mark’s eyes are widening as he’s putting his camera away.

Tim turns to Mark with a frown.

“But… Wait, do you think gay couples have five bases, not four?”

“Why four?”

 _“Because_ the fifth base means…”

Josh doesn’t listen to the rest of the controversy, because Tyler draws a book towards him; there’s a note in the margins:

_“act naturally dude or they’ll declassify us”_

Josh blinks up at Tyler, mouthing —

“How?”

Tyler moves up to Josh and writes down a simple —

_“just follow my lead”_

“So. How many times?”

Josh hurriedly closes the book and stares at Tim.

“Excuse me?”

He looks around to check if they’re bothering other students here.

“How many times can you do the do? During the night?” Tim’s pointing out. “I’m just curious.”

Josh scrapes his chin while Tyler scrapes his own — they’re just mirroring each other’s moves without thinking.

“Dammit, now I’m curious too.”

Mark has a camera and a good skill of sneaking around.

“Well,” Josh drawls. “Depends.”

Tim is a stubborn interlocutor.

“Depends on _what?”_

“On our secret ingredient,” Tyler keeps his voice mysteriously quiet. “Cinnamon.”

“Five times,” Josh finally utters. “We can do it five times. Am _I right_ , Tyler?”

His brain is not as virginal as his body is.

“Yep,” Tyler raises his head. “Definitely.”

Mark glances at the clock again.

“Well, it explains why Tyler looks so fucked up all the time.”

“I should’ve known,” Tim repeats. “I’m impressed, but crap, it was so obvious.”

Josh’s anxiety rips its claws out of his heart as he sees Tyler smile again.

They’ve passed Tim’s examination.

 

***

Josh needs one more heart-to-heart talk with Tyler. He decides to explore a magical world of pornography, maybe it will help him determine his preferences, if they exist. But watching porn alone when you have a _boyfriend_ is weird. So Josh is ruminating for three days, then finally dragging Tyler into his room. He falls down onto the blanket with a geometric pattern, so trivial for guys of his age, and closes his eyes. His hood casts more shadows on his face, making the dark circles under his eyes even sicker.

“What are we gonna do? I thought you wanted to play Mario Kart, but when we played last time, your fail was just epic… Are you sure you are ready for revenge?”

Josh sits down next to Tyler and opens his laptop; he is completely sure about their plans for this evening.

“I’ll kick your ass later, because now we’re gonna watch porn. I bought a premium account on Pornhub.”

Tyler opens his eyes and after a second he’s already searching for his bag.

“I’m going home.”

Tyler is sure about his decision, but Josh has a card up his sleeve. He doesn’t even stop logging in on the site.

“Oh, what a pity! There is a nice big pizza with pepperoni in the fridge...”

Josh almost hears the way Tyler think, summing up pros and cons. It’s an easy win.

“Okay.”

Tyler doesn’t look defeated; Josh is certain he is going to eat two extra slices. _Josh’s_ slices. But today Josh is ready for this unfairness.

Five minutes later moans and other vulgar and wet sounds fill the room along with Tyler’s chewing.

“My mother always told me: Tyler, my dear, don’t share water bottles with anyone. And then _they_ represent... this act,” Tyler can’t pick the right word.

Josh manages to inflate a really enormous bubble of a gum.

“Yeah. It’s um… Disgusting. So many microbes.”

They scroll through the genres and click on the most interesting ones. They don’t get the way they tilt their heads synchronically to the left and then to the right, almost touching their shoulders and trying to understand these impossible body positions shown on the screen.

“Is it kamasutra?”

“It’s _perversion_. Do you wanna watch this one? I heard that every man fantasizes about it.”

“Yeah, why not.”

Josh monitors Tyler’s reactions, and really, he can’t believe his eyes when he sees Tyler’s hands between his thighs, touching his crotch. Josh is more interested than surprised.

“Um… Got a hard-on?”

“What? Oh,” Tyler takes his hands away immediately. “I didn’t even notice. I just gotta take a leak.”

Josh doesn’t stop the video not to hear gurgling from the bathroom.

When Tyler comes back, they open the content that shocks them and makes Tyler close the laptop after a few seconds of the video.

“Never. I repeat — I’ll never open this damn site again. Fuck,” Tyler winces.

“Yeah. I think it’s enough for me too.”

“If we could only get your money back.”

“At least we can send the password to Tim.”

“You know, I heard that if we lived in a place called Horneytown or in the village named Titz or Fucking, Pornhub would give us a premium account for free.”

“Oh, no, thank you. My life’s good without this site and I feel pretty well living here.”

Josh’s laptop isn’t so pure anymore.  

This is it, and Josh just needs to cross out another position.

“But what if… What if I’m gay?”

Tyler’s laughter is all he gets in response.

“And who’s that lucky dude then?”

“You,” Josh coughs into his fist. He does _not_ like Tyler.

Tyler’s mouth is full of pizza.

“Nice.”

Josh fidgets on the chair.

“Can we like, make out?”

He’s as stressed as he was the evening when he failed to have sex with Casey, because it’s Tyler, the dude who just _innocently_ needs to pee instead of jerking off while watching porn. Josh expects a punch in the face.

“Sure. Just let me finish,” Tyler shoves a pizza crust into his mouth and chews rapidly. “Done. Okay.”

Tyler swallows so fast he almost chokes. Josh wants to kiss him before he changes his minds so he just grabs Tyler by the sides of his face and pulls him closer; Tyler screws his eyes shut and wrinkles his nose when their lips smash together. Tyler doesn’t bite Josh’s tongue off.

Josh doesn’t feel anything.

Tyler wriggles, and Josh’s hands roam his sides, trying to get to his skin underneath his clothing, but there’s his hoodie, then his shirt, and then a t-shirt tucked into his belt and probably into his boxers even.

“Are you serious?” Josh asks. Their intimacy is ruined, he’s not interested, and this is the end.

“Are _you_ serious?” Tyler strikes him back, clamping his strawberry and mint gum between his teeth. “Holy crap, Josh, freshening your breath doesn’t mean giving your germs to anyone.”

“I haven’t drunk from your _bottle_ , at least.”

This sounds dubiously aggressive, but Tyler giggles.

“Are you satisfied? Made sure I’m not hot?”

Josh pushes his shoulder.

“I’d get bored wading through your layers even if I were attracted.”

“You’d never get laid wearing these knee high socks anyway.”

Tyler steals one more pizza slice before spitting the gum into the trashcan under the table. He smells like pepperoni, he tastes like sauce and ham, and Josh would have said it was a tasty kiss. Before Josh manages to add something witty, Tyler overtakes him again.

“I’d let you unscrew my cap, you know. If _I were_ attracted.”

This is his gameover.

Both of them are terrible kissers, and Josh doesn’t know where to hide his hands after touching Tyler all the ways he’s not used to.

“When was the last time you kissed anyone?”

Tyler puts a half eaten slice back into the box.

“Before college.”

He’s dodging the question, but Josh can press real hard when he needs it.

“And?”

Tyler closes the box and stares at his socks.

“It was Zack’s girlfriend.”

This time, Josh can’t believe his ears, because — because Tyler’s younger brother is a little shit, but Tyler would have never done a thing like that to piss him off.

“Wanna tell me how could it happen?”

Josh can’t imagine himself kissing his brother’s girl or making out with his sister’s boyfriend.

“All of the sudden, of course,” Tyler quips. “She came early and caught me while I was cooking breakfast, and — I thought I was going to die, I’m not even sure if I kissed her back, because Zack entered the kitchen like a fucking psycho and blamed me in stabbing him in the back,” he peeks into a pizza box again. “She left, Zack didn’t want to listen to me and slapped me across the face. It hurt.”

The Josephs are weird, but their family friends are much weirder.

“Did she have like, feelings for you?”

Josh regrets it, because he has no desire to turn to one of those who can’t live a day without sorting out somebody’s private life.

“God, of course not!” Tyler exclaims. “She wanted to test Zack’s feelings, because her _bestie_ told her to do that, and she just couldn’t find a guy Zack could catch her with without consequences. I had been digesting Zack’s teenage angst for three days straight, but then his chick sent him a message confessing that kissing me was like kissing a dead turkey and explained the whole testing shit. They got back together, and like. They’re still dating. We’re on good terms.”

The worst part about it was the fact of Tyler getting kissed against his will and then getting slapped for nothing; the best part is, though, the fact of not ruining Zack’s relationship.

“People in relationship are weird,” Josh affirms.

Tyler chews on a slice of cold pizza.

“You’re telling me.”

 

***

Whole college is pumped for this weekend. Girls discuss their dresses, guys plan how to get alcohol and weed. Josh doesn’t share this enthusiasm, but he is invited to this “fantastic” party too. It’s hosted in somebody’s brother’s house, or cousin — it doesn’t matter. Tyler and Josh think this is a good opportunity to unwind. At least, they can leave whenever they want.

Asphalt is still warm under Josh’s back. His shoulder aches, his eyes are focused on the skateboard, lying on its side not far from the place where he has fallen. Skaters fall from time to time. It happens. So Josh just pulls himself together and stands up, winces at the sight of road dust-covered scratches on his skin. He doesn’t have too much time before meeting Tyler, but he should clean the abrasion.

His desire to go anywhere fades away.

His shoulder still hurts when they turn to the right street — the music is so loud that the bass reverberates throughout the whole neighborhood.

“I will not be surprised if the neighbours will call the police,” Tyler mutters, hiding his hands in the pockets.

“Then it will be more interesting than just the area full of drunk students, huh? Maybe this party will be called a _Party of the Year_ or something.”

“We should choose the right time to slip away.”

Josh nods in agreement, then opens the door.

And the real fun begins.

There are too many people. And after a while they turn to _too drunk_ people, and there are _still too many_ of them. A loud music almost covers up obvious noises from a larder where someone is taking everything from this evening, dirty drunk sex included. Tyler stands next to Josh with a red solo cup in his hands, watching the way the picture, a piece of modern art, bounces off of the wall because of thrusts behind it.

“Thinking about a genre of porn for this… What do you think? Maybe _larder-porn?”_

“Bullshit. Or a bizarre piece of shit. Like this picture by the way,” Josh takes a gulp of his beer.

“Never been into abstractionism.”

“And into sex in a larder.”

“And into sex at all.”

And that’s when they suddenly attract the attention of the younger sibling of the owner of the house, the king of the party. He stands near them, his bright green eyes shine like fucking lasers in the dark; he is unsteady on his legs because of booze or extasy. Intoxicated idiots like him usually want to play stupid party games and do the things they will regret in the morning. Josh thinks this guy can spell trouble. And after a second he gets it, his intuition works perfectly.

This guy approaches them, rising his hand. Somebody even turns the volume down, like a signal.

“Hey everyone, listen up! I wanna introduce you these two guys. I appreciate them being among us tonight! Josh. Tyler,” he nods to each of them. “I’m so proud of you two. Your coming out was great! Let’s drink for our new couple! And for the true love, which you can demonstrate openly and without fear!”

He raises his glass.

The applause and yelling blow up the living room.

Josh steps towards Tyler, who is masking his fake smile behind a paper cup.

Everything must be over now, but somebody from the crowd adds —

“Yeah! Show it now! Kiss!”

Josh looks around; so many eyes are staring at them now, so many mouths shout unanimously —

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

This situation gets out of control.

Maybe this guy invited them only for a free gay show. Or he wants to be close to LGBT community. Josh doesn’t know. The tension in the room gets on his nerves.

Tyler doesn’t demonstrate any emotions; he just puts his empty cup onto the nearest table and then looks back at Josh. Josh tries to decipher if this gesture means agreement or he is going to get punched in the face if he kisses Tyler. It seems like everyone is ready to watch a fight and a kiss with equal interest.

The crowd waits impatiently. Josh hates to be in the spotlight. He opens his mouth and pulls a bubblegum out, he finds the best way to get rid of it — he steps to the annoyer, who has initiated all of this.

“Excuse me, my _boyfriend_ hates it when I’m chewing this thing while we make out, so…”  he glues a pink substance right on the guy’s pants, then comes back to Tyler, who doesn’t even suppress his smirk.

“I hope it’s sticky enough to screw up his jeans,” Josh gibbers, then pulls Tyler closer.

Kissing during watching porn is as unromantic as doing it in front of the crowd of students.

Tyler hides them behind his hood. Fortunately, it is overstretched enough to cover the most part of their faces.

This time their kiss tastes like beer.

The burst of a noise around almost deafens them.

Tyler’s lips are dry, they can’t battle for the gum this time so their actions get them bored pretty soon. Josh listens carefully until people around lose their interest. It seems like Tyler gets it too, because he whispers into Josh’s lips —

“Maybe It’s time to leave? For a while,” Tyler steps back, grabbing Josh’s hand and leading him out of the room.

Josh thinks they are going to go out, but Tyler heads upstairs. To the bedrooms.

Josh can perfectly hear chatter around them. Josh can perfectly see his roommate making out with his girl in the corner as if he wants to show everyone how _straight_ he is; the couple pulls away from each other to follow them with their glances. Josh almost wants to apologize for taking the room the others have been planning to jump in as well.

“They think we’re gonna fuck, Tyler.”

“Really? Then… Do you have condoms, Josh?” Tyler asks as loud as he can. The girl near them turns as red as a tomato.

Josh barely controls a hysterical laughter.

 

***

“Do you have condoms, Josh?”

This is only a show, a tricky stunt they have to perform to look less dumb even though it’s impossible. Josh is on the edge again, heavy glances burn his back as he drags Tyler through the crowd; Tyler chuckles, a little kid among the adults, well-masked yet ill-disguised and so conflicted Josh hates him.

“I hate you,” Josh hisses.

And Tyler smiles.

“I know.”

And Josh’s lips still taste like him, like his saliva and food, and they’re incredibly fucked up.

“Here’s the ladder,” Josh looks at the small door leading to the rooftop.

He wants to crawl away, away from the noise and curious eyes, he’s paranoid. Tyler isn’t worried or he pretends he isn’t. Tyler climbs up first and Josh keeps counting the steps: one, three, five, his nervousness might be a manifestation of his raising up obsessive-compulsive disorder or a shit like that.

His life isn’t so boring anymore.

He’s about to swoon when they get outside, the roof is warm as the night air sticks to it like a membrane, Josh sits down in a rush. His head spins at the thought of that peer pressure, he’s being inspected by _them_.

“You need to relax, man,” Tyler comforts him. “Nothing happened.”

“Nothing?!” Josh is riled up, but Tyler’s raised up hand casts a spell.

“Shut up.”

Tyler’s words cast a spell as well.

Josh does shut up.

He doesn’t dare quit when Tyler pulls a joint out of his pocket, the lighter follows it; Tyler shivers, and Josh can’t read his emotions anymore.

“Is it… is it even _legal?”_

Tyler lights the spark and takes the first hit.

“Insomnia is the only legal drug.”

Josh is curious, he has never known that Tyler would have done anything _like this_. Both of them are so, so stressed over their bizarre situation; Josh draws his hand out and Tyler passes him the joint wordlessly. Josh’s lungs melt, the fog hits his head, tangling over his brain like an elusive veil. It doesn’t get him, not as hard as he expects, at least — he’s just getting dizzier than ever.

“You need to get a hickey,” Tyler breathes out the smoke.

Well, maybe, both of them are high.

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Indeed.”

Josh’s shoulder still hurts, his head does, and the weed has made him way too obedient. He doesn’t argue, just tugging the collar of his t-shirt down for Tyler to press his lips against his neck; it tickles Josh’s skin, and he wants to pull away, but Tyler drags him back roughly, sucking the area below his jaw. Josh doesn’t know what he’s supposed to feel, but he’s sure he doesn’t feel it the way he should. Tyler _bites_ him, Josh lets out a loud yelp — he can swear he hears a gasp coming from underneath the rooftop — their spies are here.

“Fuck.”

“Fuck,” Tyler turns away and spits onto the rooftop. “My mouth tastes like your cologne,” he spits again. “Weed and your perfume is the worst cocktail I’ve ever had.”

“You’ve just bruised my neck,” Josh whines. “It’s not a hickey.”

His skin is sore and slobbery, and Tyler keeps wiping his mouth as he takes a picture of Josh’s neck with his phone, but it’s too dark and too nothing to memorize.

After a few failed attempts he gives up. Josh nods, shoving a roach into his pocket, lacking of any desire to leave evidences here; they’re gonna get inspected and discussed all over, over and over again.

“Tim’s gonna get envious,” Tyler cackles, chewing on his thumb then spitting again.

Josh is aware of how much saliva his salivary glands can product.

 

***

The next morning is a destroying twister, because they couldn’t sneak away from the party unnoticed — everyone was far too drunk to stop them, but the bruise on Josh’s neck tells a tale.

“Baby’s got shark’s teeth,” somebody remarks.

Josh’s armor doesn’t crack at these words.

They’re studying, still buried in memories about the last party, because there are so many news coming down like avalanche that’s about to suffocate Josh — break-ups, get-togethers and cheatings.

They’re having a lunch at cafeteria, too many talks and too many people.

“Did you hear it?”

Josh doesn’t acknowledge the question until Tim slaps his back.

“Did you hear it, man?”

“What?”

“Casey and that dude she’d hooked up with last week,” Tim says. “Her _boyfriend,_  I assume. They got that disease with itching and stuff and are trying to figure out who was the first to catch it, like, ew. You’re so lucky you’re clean after all,” he stares at Josh as if he sees him for the first time. “You’re clean, I hope?”

“Yes,” Josh coughs. “Sure.”

Tyler is sitting beside him, eating fries and drinking Red Bull; it’s a good moment, Josh thinks.

“You’re my alibi,” he throws his hand over Tyler’s shoulder. “It’s so good to be clean, yeah?”

Tyler chokes but nods.

Tim keeps silent but mimics this move.

 

***

There are even more rumors, even more _‘I bet they’re even going to bathroom together’_ and Tyler’s sense of humor takes a new turn — Josh’s IG profile comes back to life with well-posed pictures with odd descriptions. Josh blushes as he sees a picture of himself sitting on the toilet and Tyler taking a selfie in the mirror — _undividable_ , is in the caption. It’s just a social experiment, and Josh begins to enjoy it, gloating as he asks Tyler to stand in front of an urinal and takes a pic from behind.

 _‘always watching his back,’_ he types and posts it.

Tim likes their posts within the first five seconds.

 

***

Going to a local bowling club is Tim’s idea. If Josh needed to write a slogan for him, it would be something like _“Tim Skipper_ — _skip hanging out with your team is impossible with him”_. Because he and his enthusiasm make you easy-going even if you are the most antisocial person on Earth.

There are eleven bowling lanes and unobtrusive background music. Josh is not a fan of bowling shoes — he looks as awkward as he feels, but if you play once a year or less there is no sense to buy your own pair.

“So,” Mark sits down near the score console to type in their names. “Are you ready for your defeat?”

“You have no chance — I’m gonna win today,” Tim is stretching near him, while Tyler is already ordering food and drinks at the bar.

Josh’s name appears on the screen so he gets to the ball stand. He steps onto the polished floor, trying to remember the right pose for bowling. His strike is a good start.

The next player is Tyler, and Josh looks thoughtfully at his back pocket with his phone inside, thinking if it’s gonna fall out. He almost physically feels Tim’s knowing look.

Josh turns to Tim suddenly.

“What?”

“You look at him like you are ready to bend and fuck him right now and right here,” Tim is unflappable. “But don’t get me wrong, it’s so cute. Maybe I’m even a little envious.”

“Oh... Um…” Josh doesn’t know how to respond so he shifts his glance to Mark, who is busy with the scoring.

Josh didn’t mean any sexual overtones.

After the first round, they take a break, eating fries and of course, Tyler has ordered a double portion.

“Fuck, man, if you keep eating this much, one morning you will discover that all of your clothes are too small, be careful,” Mark wags a French fry at him.

Tyler is unable to speak, chewing diligently. His mouth is full of food and Josh hands him a can of Red Bull, responding instead of him.

“Oh, don’t worry, dude, he is a skinny minny as always and even more, I think his belt might need one extra hole soon,” Josh stands up and heads to the lane for the second round.

“And what’s the catch?” Tim asks, getting interested. “Or is it just your natural ability?”

Josh is still near to hear Tyler’s voice —

“I burn more and more calories every night because of _Josh,_ if you know what I mean.”

Josh can’t help sneering. Even his next foul does not upset him.

 

***

If Josh needed to write a slogan for Mark it would be something like _“Mark Eshleman — marks everything with his shots since his birth.”_ Because his phone does not spend a single day without shooting something. This evening he makes a whole photoset of Josh sitting on Tyler and bowling a strike. He guffaws like a madman, but it doesn’t make his photos worse.

Tim and Tyler have the same score and they are today’s winners.

When they are outside Tim checks his phone, blurting out —

“So... Rolling _those_ balls was fun, but I need to visit one guy who can take care of _mine._ Have a good night,” he pats Josh’s shoulder and disappears.

“Such a vulgar asshole,” Mark hums. “Don’t take his words and jokes to heart. By the way, where’s Tyler?”

“I dunno man, he was there when we were taking our shoes back,” Josh looks around confusedly.

But when he takes his phone to call Tyler, he sees him, hurrying to them.

“Needed to pee. Sorry. Where is Tim?”

“It’s better to not know, bro, believe me,” Mark says, heading to the campus. The night is warm so they can enjoy their walk.

“Where is your roommate sleeping tonight?”

“In his girlfriend’s room probably. Haven’t seen him since Sunday.”

Tyler nods and stays with Josh this night.

 

***

This only forces more gossips to surface — Josh wakes up to his phone buzzing with a bunch of new notifications. He checks them, eyes blurry from sleep, and he sees the things he’d prefer to unsee immediately.

 _‘Joshler strikes the balls’_ , there’s a picture posted on Mark’s Instagram, the first comment belongs to Tim: _‘my dudz’_ decorated with an unhealthy amount of heart emojis. Some of the students have already liked it. This is how Josh wakes up famous.

“Ty,” Josh exclaims. “Tyler!”

Tyler has slept on the mattress on the floor, it was his own decision. But now there’s no sign of him.

A bout of a pure panic is about to arise.

“Tyler!”

And Tyler emerges from the hall like a genie from an oil lamp. He’s holding a toothbrush behind his cheek, toothpaste forms a foam around his mouth. Josh wonders how the internet is going to freak out if he posts a picture of Tyler with _white_ on his lips.

“Everybody thinks we’re gays now.”

“Does it bother you?” Tyler wipes the toothbrush on his sleeve.

Josh scrolls down Mark’s Instagram; it feels like he’s defusing a bomb.

“Tyler.”

“What?”

“There’s a poll.”

“What?”

Tyler doesn’t have Instagram so Josh has to punch him in the face with these facts.

 _‘who tops in joshler’_ , the subject reads, and there are only two answers — Tyler or Josh. Josh doesn’t hesitate to vote for himself to know the results. And Josh is currently winning, his 73% against Tyler’s 27%. There’s also a photoset — Tyler is standing on all fours near the bowling lane and Josh is sitting on Tyler’s hunched back. Next comes the pic of Tyler jumping over Josh lying on the floor, but it doesn’t make Tyler a proper top, probably.

And all the muscles in Josh’s ass hurt due to overstraining, damn this game — he doesn’t feel like he would’ve ever topped with anybody, his buttache is epic.

“Do you think it’s unfair?” Josh is baffled, he’s a betrayer, and he can’t even imagine shoving his dick up Tyler’s ass. Even if he’d wanted, he’s sure he’d screw up the whole thing.

“Are you mad at me?”

Josh still can’t read Tyler’s emotions. This ‘morning after’ is nothing resembling all the ‘mornings after’ they could have had together.

Together, they’re losers.

“Stop fucking ignoring me, Ty,” Josh slaps the mattress. Somebody could have said he wants it to be Tyler’s butt.

And maybe, they would’ve been right.

“I’m gonna go get RedBull from the fridge.”

Tyler still has a smear of toothpaste on the cuff of his sleeve and on the front of his hoodie.

He doesn’t notice it as he leaves.

Josh slaps the mattress again.

 

***

Josh doesn’t want to spend whole day thinking about this stupid poll. He needs to distract himself so he calls Tyler when he takes his Nintendo from the shelf under the TV.

“Mario Kart?” Tyler asks, putting his can of a RedBull onto the floor and sinking into a chair.

They pretend nothing has happened a few minutes ago. It’s their ordinary morning together — Red Bull, console and the mattress on the floor. Josh will remove it later. Or not. It depends on his roommate’s plans.

“Mario Kart,” Josh nods, handing the first player’s controller to Tyler. Tyler likes to be the first and Josh got used to it a long time ago.

The familiar 8-bit music starts to play, the logo of the game appears on a too modern monitor. It brings nostalgia; Josh wishes he could turn back time, to the good old days of their childhood when they didn’t think about sexuality, rumors, and a hyperbolized interest in sexual activities and relations with other people.

Tyler wants to play a random character so he pushes the right arrow key and closes his eyes. Icons of characters flash with a high speed; when Tyler releases the button and looks at the screen, his character is Toad.

Josh breathes out. He always selects Toad and Tyler knows it so he repeats his actions and his character for the game is Bowser now.

“Cool,” he chooses the versus mode. As always, Tyler chooses a map too. Today it’s Bowser’s Castle.

“Seriously?”

“What? I just like when my character and map fit together.”

Josh sighs and gets ready for the game.

“One race — one winner, do you agree?”

Tyler nods.

Small pixelated karts appear on both parts of the screen, and lights are timing seconds:

_3...2...1…_

The lamp falls on the floor and smashes, when Tyler jumps up, screaming and elbowing it accidentally —

“Cheater!”

“I’m not.”

Josh aka Toad is Mario Kart champion for today.

“You are.”

Tyler stands in front of Josh; he doesn’t see anything but Tyler’s legs and his crotch. It’s not even funny.  

“Tyler, it’s Nintendo 64. The only way I can cheat is just pushing you or taking your controller away. Come on. Let’s buy some snack instead of…” he stands up to turn the console off. “Anything else.”

He can’t blame Tyler’s hate for losing.

And he can’t blame him for that poll and photos and all this shit surrounding them.

Josh turns his phone off — he is sick of social networks.

 

***

Two days later, Josh wakes up famous again.

His phone is on silent, but the notifications attack him anyway — he reads them, catching them like pesky flies, and his sleepy brain still needs a ton of coffee to function normally.

Instagram is a bitch.

And so is Tyler.

There’s a pic posted on Josh’s profile; Tyler has probably gotten bored while Josh has been sleeping — he should never trust an insomniac.

“Heck,” Josh says thoughtfully.

A photo is, in fact, a masterpiece.

There’s mostly Tyler’s face with the most evilous grin he could ever manage — he’s gritting his teeth and squinting his eyes at the camera. Josh’s bare back is a perfect background as he’s laying on his stomach with his face pressed into the pillow, completely unaware.  

“Heck,” Josh repeats.

Tyler knows how to unlock Josh’s phone.

“Do you like it?” he asks innocently.

Josh gives him an appraising glance.

“You’re so… photogenic.”

Comments below have the same vibe.

 **timskipper:** _tyler has a face of a dude whos just had a great bang bang pow_

Tyler only chortles at this.

“You wanted me to play my role, bro.”

Josh doesn’t actually mind it.

 

***

By the noon, Josh strikes back — and his blow is not that hard because he’s not a douche.

He wants this pic to look like Tyler’s selfie — he’s eating a cake in Josh’s dorm and Josh catches him off guard, pouncing on him with his phone. There’s a whipped cream on Tyler’s lips and on his chin, there’s a frown on his face as he’s trying to look tough, but Josh knows that he has almost choked.

Tyler doesn’t get mad.

Josh posts this fake-selfie with the caption _‘cake!!’_ not bothering about how dumb his profile looks now.

 

***

Snapchat is a neutral territory.  

Tyler doesn’t know how to use it so Josh is sure he won’t find any weird snaps taken by him anytime soon.

“You’re like my grandma. Tap here,” he navigates as Tyler picks the deer filter.

Tyler rolls his eyes as the camera catches their faces, adding deer ears and long eyelashes. Josh shoves Tyler with his elbow.

“Smile wider, Bambi!”

Tyler rests his head on Josh’s shoulder.

The filter looks a bit off on Tyler, but Tyler’s always been a bit off himself. Josh posts his snap carelessly.

 

***

It’s strange how alluring someone else’s personal life can be. Especially in college, when hormones kill everyone’s sanity and a good half of brain cells. Josh thinks sexual activity is a pet peeve of him.

Each day things get crazier.

“Sh. Do you hear that?” Josh asks, putting his hand on Tyler’s controller.

Tyler’s playing Zelda while Josh’s choosing a topic for his essay. They are hiding in Tyler’s dorm, while everyone’s celebrating Halloween, then Josh suddenly hears a strange bustle behind the door.

“What?”

“Listen.”

It looks like somebody’s hiding outside. Somebody drunk, because they think they are quiet enough to be unnoticed.

“Okay,” Josh gets angry. “Rumors and social networks. It’s okay. But now… Are they overhearing? They would keep watching through our windows soon. I gotta go and kick their asses.”

Josh is determined to stand up, but Tyler puts the controller aside.

“Hey, chill. Let’s just give them what they want…”

“What?” Josh feels like an idiot.

People behind the door are trying not to make any noises but fail, of course. It’s quite possible that Mark is among them.

“Just… Lay down, okay?”

Josh doesn’t move.

“Josh, come on. Trust me, okay?” Tyler stands up on his knees right on the bed, waiting.

And when Josh obeys, Tyler climbs on top of him, sitting down on Josh’s hips and pushing all the air out of his lungs.

“What are you doing?” Josh is abashed when Tyler sways back and forth.

Tyler bends over to exhale —

“I’m making the bed creak by jumping on you? But they would think I’m getting _fucked_ ,” Tyler responds in a low voice, and then he moans as sexily as he only can, straightening his back again.

It seems like a groan of pain, but the cheering outside the room proves that their stalkers have swallowed the bait.

“Oh, shit, Tyler!” Josh aspirates when Tyler jumps down right onto his stomach, but their listeners take it as an evidence that Tyler has just done something nice and dirty for Josh in bed.

Tyler presses him into the mattress.

“Come on Jishwa, relax!”

Josh doesn’t understand how actions like this can make anybody come. This pose is awkward. He doesn’t know where to put his hands so he grips at the headboard.

“Ty, if you keep doing this we’ll break the bed,” his voice is trembling to the beat of Tyler’s moves.

After a few minutes of Tyler’s moans and a creaking of the bed Josh’s legs are numb, he feels sillier so he puts his hands on Tyler’s shoulders, slowing him down.

“How long people do this usually?”

“According to our trick with cinnamon you should be able to fuck me for at least a half an hour, but they don’t know when we’ve started so let’s finish it now.”

“But how…”

Josh is interrupted by Tyler’s loud howl.

“Oh, fuck, Josh! I’m coming!”

Josh looks at him, trying to not laugh.

“You’re too good at this! Oh!”

Josh presses his palm to his lips, Tyler sounds forced, but this theatricality is unnoticeable for drunk people. Josh doesn’t know what to do, but he thinks Tyler can be the one who likes to talk during sex. Josh looks even cooler keeping silence.

And when Tyler’s performance is over, he finally falls down near Josh.

“Now tell them to get lost. I’m tired.”

Josh grins and sits up then takes his shirt off. Tyler nods in approval.

“And… A final detail,” he reaches his hand and messes Josh’s hair up. “Excellent.”

Tyler nods again and gets ready for watching Josh from his spot on the bed.

Josh opens the door. He is met like a hero, and the photo of him standing in a doorway appears on Mark’s Instagram in two minutes with a hashtag _#joshlerisreal._

 _look at his sex hair~_ the first comment says. It’s Tim’s, of course.

 

***

They are laying on a crumpled bedspread, eating Doritos and chatting about _sizes._

“One more thing I can’t understand is why people think that the size of a dick is so important. I mean, I heard every guy measures his cock at least once.”

“I don’t know man. It’s odd. Just imagine someone putting their dick on a table, taking a ruler and…” Tyler bursts up laughing.

“I bet they even don’t clean a table and ruler first.”

“Ew,” Tyler adds after a pause, still chewing. “Do you wanna know my size?”

Crumbs are everywhere, but it’s okay.

“Nope,” Josh shrugs.

“Cool. I don’t know it anyway.”

“Me neither.”

 

***

 _#joshlerisreal_ becomes a thing, but Josh’s skin is thick enough to let all the rumors ricochet off of him — he never comments on these pictures, he doesn’t retweet Mark and Tim’s tweets.

“We’re like, independent,” Tyler says. “They respect us, I bet.”

Josh keeps scrolling the feed.

“It’s hard to not respect the dudes who can handle doing the do all night long.”

“They’re gonna believe everything we lay into their ears.”

“That’s why Tim’s new boyfriend is now following me on Instagram,” Josh replies. “I will not be surprised if he’s gonna ask me for instructions one day.”

And Tyler looks at him thoughtfully and declares —

“Once horny, forever horny.”

 

***

Curious people stop gathering by the threshold, and Josh is pretty happy about it — his and Tyler’s roommates give them more space since _the bed performance_ , so they can hang out either in Josh’s dorm or in Tyler’s.

And they keep doing their little nothing, just watching movies and playing video games on their free time; they even fall asleep in this bed that was meant for just one person. Josh isn’t frustrated when he wakes up with a stiff neck and with Tyler’s elbow poking his ribs.

“Hey,” Josh says.

And Tyler smiles.

“Hey.”

Other students’ glances no longer scare Josh, but he still has a question to ask.

“Isn’t it weird that we’re like, gonna die virgins?”

And Tyler replies —

“I’m not gonna die.”

Josh sits up as reality slaps him on the face.

“Isn’t it relationship? Like, relationship goals?”

But Tyler’s still riding his own wave.

“Well, we theoretically can lose virginity, just for science—”

“No, no, no, forget about it,” Josh raises his hands. “I mean, you and me, right? We’re hanging out 25/8, we’re going to a goddamn bathroom together, dang, we’ve been even pretending we had sex! And now... We’re sleeping together. This is more than just a joke or a friendship, right?”

Josh didn’t expect this fountain of words, he never stops shocking himself, and the only reaction he gets is a pat on his shoulder.

“I’m glad you finally figured it out,” Tyler snickers.

The bed under Josh’s ass lets out a familiar creaking.

“Does it mean we’re dating?”

Tyler looks him in the eyes and utters without a hint of mockery —

“It seems so.”

 

***

They’re enjoying their ‘ _Easy A’ interpretation,_ as Tyler calls it.

And Josh finally gets out of the trap of anxiety since their personal life is not a secret anymore — the more people already know, the less they’re digging into their dirty laundry; this is how society works.

This is how their relationship works.

They’re not even denying anything, they can do whatever they want now, getting more sleepovers without a fear of being judged is one of these things. They even move two beds together so they can lay there along with pizza and their laptops.

They’re in the middle of their Star Wars marathon when Josh’s phone buzzes, the screen blinks, greeting him with a message from Mark.

 _found this guy today_ , the message reads.

There’s a picture attached, there’s Mark lying in bed with a cat on his stomach — the camera is focused on the cat’s face, and Josh can swear this fluffy bastard smiles.

 _i named him Victor,_ another message says.

Josh wonders how this cat is going to live in a campus, but well, he’s sure Mark is gonna come up with the wildest story about _saving the rarest breed on Earth_ and everyone is going to believe him. Because that’s how the society works, again, he’s learned the lesson.

“I’m happy for him,” Tyler is completely serious. “Maybe his _kid_ will keep him away from spying on people.”

“Definitely,” Josh nods. “I’m about to be his wingman and pair him up with that dude Brad from photography class.”

“Oh come on, everybody knows he’s not Mark’s type. Our Chloe Sullivan is dreaming about Michael from football team.”

“Who told you that?”

“Research,” Tyler sighs. “My life’s boring.”

“Not anymore.”

“Again.”

“Lay down on me,” Josh asks.

Tyler doesn’t hesitate to do as he told, he somehow copies Victor’s pose and puts his palms on Josh’s chest, placing his head onto them. Josh gives him a thumb up before opening the camera on his phone and picturing what he sees then sending the result to Mark.

 _best cosplay_ , Josh types.

And Mark replies —

_indeed._

“Now he’s going to eat cat’s fur for the rest of his life.”

Tyler rolls away from Josh and reaches for a slice of pizza.

“Spicy.”

Josh’s stomach grumbles, making him chuckle again.

“Do you hear it? My heart’s hungry for you.”

Tyler shoves Doritos into Josh’s mouth before he shuts up. But Josh is not the one to give up this quickly.

“Are we going to tell them?”

Tyler slightly pushes him in the side.

“Later. Probably.”

Josh throws his arm over Tyler’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Later.”

**Author's Note:**

> birds and bees can be 'just friends', kids


End file.
